Flashing in my mind for unlimited times.
Questions keep on appear in my mind,
asking myself why it will become like this.
y can't it be the same like last time,
We go thru hard time,
we go thru real time,
we go thru sweet time,
we go thru sad time,
we go thru alot of time.

BUT

Why it can be like what we imagine?
why u will always blocking me,
try to think negative side
became so sensitive
no confidence on me!
even v had already together so long.

You r the only one i really Love and put effort in this relationship but at last i get blamed dishonest. We r good for these years is jz that we been blocked at the path whr trust and honesty which also the hardest part for every couple. The process and the hardship and relationship end here although we don't want it to be like this.



-Kelv-ChoCokOBAR
280212

It makes me think of U in My life~

웃 ♥

유

ℑ м☤ṧṧ ƴøʊ ʟїкℯ ᾔ◎ ◎т♄εґ﹩, нøρ℮ ⊥ø ß℮ ωї☂н ⑂◎ü ßʊ⊥ ☂н℮ ღ☺мεη⊥ їμ т☤⊥♄ ƴøυ, ḯ⊥ ḟℯℯʟ η☂ ґїℊн⊥ ℯṧρℯ¢☤αℓℓƴ ωн℮η øʊґ ḉ◎μღʊηḯ¢@☂ḯøᾔ ßя℮@ḱṧ ∂øẘη αηⅾ ☂♄ℯ ωα⑂ υ ḟ℮ℯℓ/т♄їηк ﹩⊥ʊḟḟ▪ ☤ ḓʊηᾔ☺ ẘн⑂ υ ẘ☤ℓł ℓḯк℮ ☂ℌ@т αᾔḓ ◎√℮ґℓ¥ ṧℯη﹩ḯ⊥ḯṽℯ, ♭ʊт ☤ ґℯ@ʟℓ¥ ∂ø ℌ◎℘ε ω℮ ¢@η ḉ◎ηтḯᾔü℮ ωї☂нøʊ⊥ ☂ℌ℮ ℘α﹩т, ღα¥♭ ☂♄ḯṧ ḯṧ ẘн@т ℘ρł ṧ@⑂﹩ ᾔℯ♥ℯя ℓ℮⊥ üґ ḉʊґґ℮η⊥ Ḡ℉ кᾔøẘ üя ℘α﹩ṧ ṧü¢♄ @ṧ ∃✖✏℮ṧ αᾔ∂ ◎тнℯґṧ ẘℌḯḉ♄ ωḯʟł ⅾґα❡ ℘ґ☺ß @ℓ☺η❡ ⊥◎ ¢υґґℯη☂ łḯḟεṧтƴł℮▪ Ħღм℘♄▪▣

Suddenly feels that im nt good in communicating with people even with my own , some more dare to tell people im studying ADVANCED IN MASS COMMUNICATION but i Failed in communication. Yea~ FAILED~ such a shame on me right? i don't even dare/feel to make new friends, especially girls and don't even dare to talk with them because it's been 3-4years i didn't Woo any girls, outing with new girl friends. .

Do i like what i have now? is it what i want? is it the feeling i get from here is truly from what i wish?

All the answer are unclear because i don't even can manage my own communication. .

The moment i type all these is when i was half awake that juz after have a drink but feel to express something in my blog right now. . Should be have alot of grammar mistakes or whatsoever.

NITE to ALL

-Kelvin-ChocokO

081111

Beer~ its long time i didn't drink beer for continuously. .

Carlsberg - Heineken

It makes me feel better and make me release and can have a well nite well sleep. I should have more session of it xD and after tomorrow paper will be the time for me to have sometime to cool down my mood ~ F Hols~

The feeling really GREAT! mayb some said im dumb and stupid for such stuff but at least i found a way for release..

-Kelvin-Chocoko

080111

I never expect i will discover that, although i knew that been long time i never read any post from your ****, but the word seems hurt.

Anyway, what i discover now is doesn't important anymore since all things changed and come to the end.

Oh ya, Loyalty? Nice guy?

There are no loyalty guy in this world, but there are guy who love you and be with you all the time , shouldn't use loyalty to describe that.

About nice guy, yea there are nice guy but girls don't believe guys whenever they are good or kind. Girls will think that guys are not trust able.

So conclusion, No Loyalty and No Nice Guys if you felt that guys are bad, jerk, bastards and dishonest. There are ones but now no more because "good girls gone bad" same as guys. Do good always but been blamed and ignored so what for be the good one? Bad one still have people trust and some more is just right beside you *BFF* , as usual you always said he bad, cheating on HER *BFF* but the perception cannot be treated to every guy especially *** ^^ who never ever do wrong to you but you keep on suspect *** for no reason and ignored *** for no reason.

An image flash in my mind when i was trying to take a nap instead of study for tomorrow exam. . .

It seems real and i think it is real.
Hopefully it won't happen

The story of the image~:

As usual after my English exam i went back home

~The feeling strange

Once i reached my door step i notice that all her shoes,sandals,heels missing which it supposed to be , is just i can't accept that

I quickly went in the room and ~ ~ ~

Once i open the door. . . >..>..>..>..>..

The environment of the room changed

Due to~

all her things and belongings disappear

which mean she had left. Sigh~*Heart Break* like a glass fell on floor.

Actually i should be prepared for that sigh~

Hopefully~

-Kelvin-ChocokoBar

123011

The exam period, instead of study hard. . . i was loitering outside and mahjong for few hours. Is that what i should do now? relax 1st then only suffer? hmmph..

But~~~

There are other matter arising. . . i can feel the distance between me and you are more far away since the time i saw the way you and "them" talking and keep secrets that i cannot know/listen when i'm joining you guys. It make me feel to isolate myself to prevent that happen again especially "him" to be there who i dislike most! Thank you for doing so this time which can break my heart into pieces softly and softly which i wouldn't think of you anymore in the future , i can "foresee" the future instead of guessing how would it be. . . .

Btw~~

I felt that i'm having psychological problem which dislike to mixing people and can't communicate well with people's around me. AND this is One of the REASON why we are in this way right now.

Sorry To u & my Friends~

-Kelvin-Chocokobar

122911

Long time didn't blog since the last post, i nearly forgotten i have a blogspot account which i'm not actively appear here but. I'm feeling lost but i have no one to share or to talk about my feelings, thoughts, intentions and all of that. Physically i'm strong and tough but mentally i'm weak and may weaker that what you thought.

The feeling of lost of myself cause of the 5F:

Forget-Failed

Forgive-Failed

Freedom-Failed

Foresee-Failed

Future-Failed

I Failed to forget the past

I Failed to forgive the myself

I Failed to Free myself even i have chosen the path

I Failed to Foresee the future although i work hard through it

I Failed to imagine my future on how will it looks like if these things continues.

All i can do meanwhile exam is just sit and wait which is the suffering part which waiting to see someone leave.

Every time i saw You went out with other guys, my feeling was sucks but i can't say anything due to i'm not anyone to you anymore.

The day i saw you and him hugging together i was stunt and i think that night was a fun night which i can put down everything and enjoy, but i'm wrong cause there's still something i can't put down which is U!... The moment i saw you hugging him, i direct turn and walk out of the club. Within 10min i leaved the club and trying to find someone drink with me or accompany me for chatting but end up, i don't have any single friend that is free on that night as well as i'm lack of buddies and friends.

Anyway all of that i feel that is good for you because i saw a lot of happiness in you right now, mixing friends freely, went out, club as you like, no worries, shop for your own freely and a lot more.

-Kelvin-ChocokoBar

122811

The things that flash into my mind right now..

Who Is my

Frens?

Good Frens?

What Frens will be?

The feelings of grouping?

What will be if without frens?

Is it i'm the only one who think so?

Tonite i came across many thing.

I read my Bro's Blog

Recall on what had happened

Think back my previous memories

What will be if those things didn't happened

What's is my mind was that what written in my bro's blog. What he said touches me without my notice it alert my mind and controlled what i should think.

A simple words with full emotions

that touches me.

All About

"LOVE"

Day after day, i'm looking forward for a better life which i think it could be my 1st step but the step seems to be hard to move even though step on the 'Ground' which makes me feel uneasy. Life?

For me is a worthless stuff as many people told us that

'LIFE IS THE PRECIOUS THINGS EVER'

Yes! it is but not for me.

Time passed just like a thunder stroke in front of me without my notice since i was blurred all the way round with

No direction

No idea

No thinking

That day have been kept in my heart as my precious memory that unforgettable

-In Memory of Lennon Bar Yoong Leong (1981-2010)-

That day passed more than 100days but i still unable to forget and put it down to keep it away from my heart.

IT remind me that 'LIFE' will be come so fragile when encounter with LOVE..

The Image of the SCENE keep on recalling into my mind whenever i'm alone.

I insist that i'm not MISSING HIM but in reality I DO.

I couldn't let go the thing that happened to my life. If will be given 2nd chance, i would rather Leave all my Belonging including what i owns now to prevent that to happen.

Since last time i wish to own a car, and i wait and wait till the day come.

GREAT!

I own my car Now I own many unwanted things but at the same time i LOST the one that i didn't treat him nicely and preciously,care him as my brother in my life

which BREAK My heart DEEPLY that now i don't have the chance to treat him as my dearest brother and see him anymore.I REALLY WISH THAT IS MY DREAM AND WHEN I GET UP there's nothing happened before. I wish to see him in my life.

I WISH TO

Cartoon lookalike... hope that be my Reality..

It's Been some time.
-Hiding in the room for a long time n cried for a long time until cant even squeeze a drop of tears-
-Heart keep on grasp and pressurize juz like cant breath.

我已经努力做到了吗?
.....
为什么她, 还是这样..
...
我还需要做什么? 来让她开心,幸福,高兴...


我很矛盾..
-KeLvIN-BaR

我,看不惯.. 别人代替我的位..但是,我只能同意她做那件事..为什么我那么没用???


讨厌我自己!!!!


^KelVin_Bar^
-心痛-

I hate myself much more than i Hate anyone..
Why?
I tried for everythgs but end up i have nth? relationship? frenship? n everythings in my life.. I hate all of it...
Why shld i live in this world?
Why shld i struggle in ths situation?

-Ke|-
[Speechless abt Myself]

What Am I?
Who Am I?
Where Am I?
Why Am I?
When Am I?
&
How Am I?

I'm really stupid enough to make a decision like this but at least i knew that i never done any wise or correct decision in my life

That's y i never have any confident on myself
People around me will juz lesser and lesser even some of them getting hurt indirectly or even been hurt by me directly.

As i'm a PR student but myself unable to perform or practice what i have learn before

Is it wise decision that i studying PR? Or i had chosen a wrong way/path
What would it be if i suddenly terminate it and what my future will be?

Who do i LOVE? is it "Her"
Can i start a new life?
Do i really need to be what i state on my MSN?
Confusion in my mind... I dunno whr to get the answer.. Can anyone tell me ? n what shld i do?

-坏男人-
Never owns a well life

-ChOcOkO_BaR-